I'm in love with MaryJane

I grew up in an area where marijuana was widely acceptable, well, where is it not...? It was considered from "the land"and "natural"and all that shit.

Anyway, I was a jock and somehow my father did an excellent job at keeping me away from drugs. He has skills, how did he do this? He didn't tell me not to do drugs or drink... he just told me that "I was smarter than that", and that "I wasnt an idiot", and that I was too good to do 'that shit' ... and I somehow believed him. Fathers are so powerful for daughters. We believe their every word, until we don't. Fathers have a lot of power to raise amazing women. Fathers can influence their daughters self-esteem in magical ways.

My father empowered me from a young age.

So I believed him, and I dont remember going around telling people I was smarter than them or better than them, but I remember knowing deep down that athletes, smart females, and the person I trulystrived for and wanted to be, just wasn't into drugs. My first boyfriend smoked pot, and maybe even sold pot, and I never even tried it, I wasn't even interested. I was more into him than anything, but I somehow was on lockdown with doing drugs still.

So, I went off to college, well seasoned beyond my years. I wasn't a prude, by Senior year of high school I dabbled in beer, wine, and hard liquor and figured that was enough,I could hold my own and party. Still, it wasnt until my 2nd year in college, my sophomore year, when a girl in my dorm taught me how to smoke the Bob Marley. Ironically that was the same year I chopped my hair short for the first time in my life (we had a rule in our family that my sister and I had to have long hair, weird, I know). I dont think there was much communiucation with daddy dearest that year. I wasn't running. He wasn't my coach.We didnt have much to talk about other than his late tuition checks, or lack of tuition checks.

So Saah was a cool chick, soccer player, chill, hippie. She had a really good vibe and laugh. I wanted to be like her. She taught me how to smoke ganga. We lite incense. Stuck towels under the doors. And puffed.

I got high for the first time with her guidance, I laughed harder than I ever had before and we skipped around the all girls dorm rooms looking for munchies and having the time of our lives, we may have made up a secret language and alter ego names for ourselves.

Whatever. We had fun!

When girls get high we geek out, we let it all out, all that repressed stuff! Sucking your belly in and eating right and fixing your hair and studying every night and being nice to mean girls and calling your mother back even though you really don'twant too...all that STUFF!

Smoking weed is a release.... we act silly!
Boys mostly in my epxerience get really really quiet, play video games, or golf, or watch tv and just .........................duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dumdumdumdumdum.

Which is fine.

Girls do this too, but most of the time we get goofy.

So this was new for me. I loved it! All the stress of my body and my inner most thoughts and boys and does he like me or not like me and how am I going to pass this class and how am I going to pay for school and i wish I could buy cute clothes like that girl over there and....
it all floated away with every puff.

I had a new crush on pot.

I did it every few weeks that year with her. She got A's in all her classes and stayed thin. I barely got by and got my first little belly my 20 year old body had seen.

So I started a relationship with pot, like any relationship, when I wanted it I had it and when I didnt - I found something else.

My now best friend, who also was a prude in high school, had gotten into getting high in college. I truly believe its a female form of letting go. A breed of girls who were pretty and jocks and smart and worried about getting into a good college, well we were tired. Tired of the rat race. Tired of being type A.Tired of being everything to everyone. But not mature enough to know that. Smoking pot was like a mental vacation. A break from the pressures of our type A young hormonal high strung persona. The effect is different foreveryone. It was the same for her and I. We loved vacation. Even better She had a boyfriend who always had plentiful amounts of the green. We had a blast. We would get high, and make amazing decadent meals. Crab and lobster and steaks. We all became good good friends.

Peeps would stop by his house at 10pm on saturday night on their way to go out, and we would be sitting on the couch, three of us staring at the TV, reggae music blasting from another room, full bellies, satisfied and a kitchen full of dishes- as if it was thanksgiving....and 12 people had made and eaten a 4 course meal.That was how our Saturday nights looked.

But it was just the 3 of us. Chillaxin. Stoned. Satisfied.

After that year, he broke up with her. Idiot. Asshole. He was like my brother. I guess he thought he needed to be with this well known slut bucket ( ironically he is now unhappily married to her with 3 kids- Nice job retard). Anyway, so she and I took our peace pipes and started our own dinner parties.

We would sit in my room at Melrose Place (old name of our 6 girl house of girls gone wild- meets smalltown liberal arts college with a hot tub and 5 bedrooms). She and I would shut my bedroom door- get high... giggle.... and not give a flying fuck!

We were not angry, we were happy. Happy stoned. My roomates would be scurrying around to pick out a cute outfit to go out and we would be chillin. Come midnight we would rollout in our t- shirts and flipflops... funny thing is...the boys liked it.

A few boys specifically knew our game and always wanted to tag along once we entered civilization. Pot isnt necessarily a social drug.You are happy without people around. We were in our own world.

It may have probably been one of the sexiest things: two aestically different looking chicks, super mellow, super chill, and low maintnence showing up at the parties.... once everyone is drunk and we are laughing in the corner at ourselves. no needs. no issues.no drama. no sorority.

My love for football players died out slowly with The Syndrome, and I was onto the soccer players, after a hiccup in basketball that I will save for later. Soccer players are chill. They are athletes that know how to party. But they dont need to scream and yell and do keg stands, they just kick it.

Jeff and Patrick always wanted to kick it. They followed us around like baby ducklings. We lead them around on a leash. It was always a good time. When most of the girls wanted to get up and dance to Diddy, we were going to go get high on nature walk.

They were both attractive, but somewhat shy. They just never seemed to score if you know what I mean. If they did score,it wasnt the kind of score girls were proud of. These dudes were just young punks still trying to figure it out and get some tail.No game.No tact. Jeff was our age and Patrick a few years younger. Sexy on the field, and just Jeff and Patrick off the field. Funny at best.

When most of the girls were either puking in the bathroom or crying they were so drunk, we were laughing our ass off and looking at each other rolling our eyes with the boys.

While girls were saying no-- but cock teasing and then saying no to sex without a condom late night.

We were back home getting munchies.

On repeated occasions, we would be at a party, look around, Patrick and Jeff watching our every move, and then we would sneak out.... they would try and follow us and ask what party we were going to next.... hehe heeee little did they know. We didnt often like to share.

We would go on a munchie run and hit the hay.
Not like just a bag of chips and 7up munchie run.
We would get skittles and mamba: sweet
ChexMix and Cheetoes: salt/crunchy
Skor bar and snickers: chocolate
Cherry Coke
Cream Soda
mmmmmm

We would spend almost $20-30 on munchies, thanks to my college food stamp card. (So wrong!)See I never figured out how this worked, but if you were getting a certain amount of federal student loan aide, you also got a food stamp card? I was using that thing at Plaid Pantry at 2 am like nobody's business! Please dont judge me.

We would set our picnic up on top of my bed, smoke some more and pass out.

Repeat.

Everything in balance.

I have a sensitive opinion about pot. I don't think its for everyone and I don't necessairly completely condone it. You have to handle your business. You can't be a loser about it. Its not evil or a gateway drug. We all have different experiences and reactions. For me, it was a release and looking back, mostly a damn good one, I was so wound up tight with all the shit going on in my head, drinking was only making it worse. Smoking freed me up!

Smoking is cool if you have done your shit. Done your workout for the day. Done your homework. Crossed your t's and then you can have your down time. But if you are doing it 3 and 4 times a day and not taking care of your body and your responsbilities, yes it is bad. We all know what that looks like. Instant pussy fumble.

So I digress.

It was one of those lovely nights, my home girl and I were chillin, Jeff and Patrick were by our sides. Oh ya we never hook up with these boys, they just like to be near us. Yup, sometimes that is how it works. Irie Mon.

We decide we will all have a lot more fun if we go to someones apartment and party on our own. So we do. We smoke. It can be like foreplay, it can be sexy. (It can also be for people who cant deal, are not mtoivated, need to lose weight and get a job and start dealing with reality :-)!).

Jeff shows something to my home girl in his room. Smooth, so simple sometimes. isn't it? I let her go without a caution 'dont ditch me girl code' cuz im chillin with Patrick. The thing is she hasnt really gotten any since old boy broke her heart, so I am hoping some luvin will translate its way into her life. And of course, he is friends with her ex. What better way to mind fuck over your ex man, than to get it on with his friend or teammate!

BU YA

that wasnt the plan though. we were peaceful chicks just doin our thang. and it worked so easily.

sorry if its sexier than that halter top you bought at forever 21 and that dance move you are doing and that smirnoff ice you are sippin and that fried straight hair you are swinging...ya im wearing a white tshirt and old jean skirt and laughing with the boys and they want me more than you.

WAT??!!!

oh sorry, that was an interruption dedication to a few of the girls I went to college with ;-)

So anyway, Patrick and I sit and listen to music and talk. Who the hell knows what we are talking about but it all makes sense to us....moon...stars...life's purpose... We are sitting on his bed. I physically feel like gumby. I have a grin on my face, I am happy, mellow and my body is soooo relaxed, its like post sex post orgasm, but there was no act.

He sits close enough to me so his legs are adjacent to mine, but he isnt trying to touch me we are just sitting close. I remember the first time a boy did this move on me I was in 9th grade. He always sat in the same spot 5 seats toward the front from the way way back (way way back seat on the bus was rad). If I was lucky I would always get on the bus, look around, roll my eyes, and pretend like I wanted to sit anywhere but there. Begrudgingly sit next to him, ignore and not look at or talk to him, but wait... he always did this thing. He always repostiioned his legs in a way where we were touching once I sat down. I loved it. I was 15.

Patrick and I were sitting close. I was high and happy and... man I was so high, but my pussy was starting to wake up...

you know when things are going the way they are with a dude and then all of a sudden they say something or give you a look or a glance or you smell a wiff of their scent and BAM!
its instinct. your body starts twtching. u start thinking about it. you cant stop. you stop listening to what they are talking about- you stop watching the movie on tv- whatever you are doing you are now on autopilot and thinking of only one thing. you are just primal & you want to be touched.

i knew my friend was getting it on and happy for her too!

hey it aint no fun unless the hommies get some
seriously.

so i wanted a little sumthin sumthin too
he told me that I was "hela cool"
I told him that he was awesome
flattery will get you everywhere
he got up and went to the bathroom
(Again i tell you! the boys going to the bathroom?! what is the deal with these bathroom visits exactly on point when i want to make out? and they are weird, they are extremely long bathroom visits, mysterious bathroom visits.)
he comes back and sits close again.
sitting next to each other.
nothing could slip between us.
we hold hands.
we are 21, not 7
its still nice
touching can feel quite nice when enhanced by being a little high
do the math
we sit
and stare
and chill
and stare at the wall
and exhale
and inhale
and chill

and he rests his head,
his cranium next to my head,
heavily
his head is heavy and tilted to the side of my head
im sitting on his bed, aginst a wall and have nowhere to go
or attempt to shift the weight on me
his bedroom
therefore he is in charge
im there
im there because i want to be
im there because i have wanted to be for hours
and he cocks his head against mine like im a lazyboy headrest recliner
he rests it there for awhile

what the hell am i supposed to do about this heavy head resting--
not even resting on my shoulder but on my skull!?

thats it!?
thats all he giving me? my pussy, i mean my mind, i mean my pussy twitches with confusion
Im not down for sex I just want to make out and a little touchy feelly
my friend is in the other room doing god knows what and homeboy is using my head at a pillow?!
I sit there for ahwile in disbelief and hope for something more to come
and it doesnt

SoI get up, and i go to the bathroom.

my girl comes out

thank god (because there is nothing worse than taking one for the team when your girl needs to stay and you want to go! i know i have done it to her a million times!)
and
we
go to plaid pantry of course!
I need more chocolate this time;-)

Pussy Fumble!

If they are there with you, [the girl or the boy] after countless hours of talking, discussing, hand holding, cuddling, leg touching--> they most likey really want to you to kiss them. Now, they may not want to get naked or be your girlfirnd or meet your mother, but they want to kiss you.


Smoking pot is not evil unless abused.

Having a partner in crime (i.e. the journey of life) is essential at times. Guys have wingmen and they are smart creatures to stay in packs, girls need 'em too!

Go get some and dont fumble the pussy being thrown at you...

just handle it with care please...

In honor of #10 blog, 3pt field goal .... play by play in dirty detail coming up.... its a doozy!

peace&luv
thank you for reading!