How I got to know "Hit Me Up"

Hit me Up- the first time...the story begins.... (readers, if you didn't read the orginal post of "Hit me Up"- please do so you can follow along, look to the right for older posts, thank you!)

So I mentioned he was an ex-lover right?

Ya. Big time.
Not that he was "big" but big time :-)
He was the last of the Mohicans in college; I had pillaged and conquered almost every boy I had a crush on - that’s what college is all about right? Experimenting? Having fun- no strings attached, with condoms? Of course.

This coming from the girl who's mothers said: "now, sweetie, I want you to play the field, really play the field, don’t settle for one, have 3 or 4 at a time, really have good time at college!"

Yes. She meant men.

More on crazy mothers later.
So I did what my momma told me.

So my first moment with "hit me up" was at another frat party...I know I know...but I'm sorry it happens.
I was inebriated,

I know I know, at least this time I was almost 20 :-)
I decided I needed to confess to "hit me up" who did not know who I was, how I felt about him.

Have you ever gone up to hot person and just started rambling? God. What is that about? Really your penis or pussy needs to talk at that point because your mouth has no idea what is going on and it’s obvious. And its not helping your chances of scoring. Diarrhea of the mouth.

I say to him in my best hands on my hip to one side, "So you don’t know me, but you- you are the hottest guy in school". Cliché. I know.

It gets worse.
Here I am in college. I’m a sophomore, he's a senior, I have limited time here folks.

I need to "woooo him". He needs to remember me!
I start rambling and his eyes widened as this little spitfire (me) starts spouting off...confessions of god knows what!? His girlfriend swoops in and grabs his arm. I float away.

Whoops! Foul ball.

Oh, he will remember me, oh yes one day he will be mine, he will remember, plus lets face it,

I’m hotter than her?
(I’m such a bitch sometimes!?)

So I’m doing the grinding thing, hanging out wiht my friends and new ones.
People are inside and outside the house party.
I walk outside, and am talking to this boy I had been on and off making out with every other weekend. I didn’t really like him or his mouth but ya know, better than nothing!

Thi dude is def. more wasted than I am.
God this story is really sounding gross. Don’t worry, hold tight.
One thing leads to another and we get into an argument about me flirting with "hit me up" and I flip around on the top of the stairs to walk away, and...
Doh!

Roll my ass down the stairs.
Out of pure embarrassment and shame, I say, "Dustin how dare you!"
He gets blamed for being drunk and pushing me down the stairs.
Within seconds three very large football players that are friends of mine are picking me up and kicking him out of the party.

"Hit me Up" is now ripping off his t-shirt to bandage my arm up.
See, I told you he would remember me.
I have no shame in my game.
Remember shy of 20 folks.

A few years pass.
I'm now a senior, queen hen of the roost.
I’m at a football game and Hit me Up is visiting, why do they do that?
Why do people that graduate college come back, particularly men, and try and re-live it?
Scary.

I'm living at this dream house: 6 girls and a hot tub. 1 Latina. 1 Tall curly blond. 1 Fire crotch.

1. Halle berry look alike. 1. Tomboy Country Bumpkin. and Me.
In short: Boys loves coming to our house.
Hit me Up and his friends are over after the game.
I’m avoiding and trying to dodge him at all costs.
No eye contact
Being on the phone
In the other room

I need to get out of there, but it’s my mickey frickey house!
He finally says the ever familiar..."don’t I know you?"
And I say ummmm no
He says "yes I do, didn’t you fall down at one of my house parties and I had to bandage you up?"
And I was like, ummm let’s not talk about it, what are you doing nowadays? Where do you work?
Then he slyly, handles it well...leads into his signature line "so what’s new with you?"
I say: my boyfriend, thats whats new.

(Im such a brat sometimes!?)

Then he says
Well, when you don’t have one you should call me
My heart starts racing.
(Score!)
I take his number
I’m sorry people, if I have a crush, I need to crush the crush, and I need to go after it!

This is college babies! Work needs to be done! I'm not married!

6 months pass
No boyfriend
A bunch of us girls are going to go into "the city" to "go out"
Since we are now "of age-21"
I call him and invite "hit me up"
We all have fun.
Everyone crashes in the liv room late night, taco bell, you know the drill.
I crash in his t-shirt in his bed.
Yum yum. Fun. Fun.

I graduate college a few months later.
I am vulnerable, career obsessed, and completely high strung.
He calms me down
He listens
He provides that older guy thing

(I love that older guy thing! I also love the younger guy thing....hmmmm)
He lives in a swanky neighborhood; I live in the spare bedroom of my friends who are getting married.
He has a cool job. I have two part time jobs.
He drinks wine.
I learn to drink wine.
It’s going well.
I’m learning more about "the city" thru him.
He is open minded.
He likes to get deep and analyze music with me.
I like him a lot.
We haven’t had sex yet.

See I’m not tthaaaaaaaat bad.

OK, 2 weeks pass of the above bonding, we finally do have sex:-)
It’s ok. Slightly anti-climatic if you will.
But I like him a lot, so it will probably just get better over time, like the fine wine he was teaching me to drink?
We keep having sex. Like riding a bike.
It seems we have sex in the morning a lot.
And, He always needs to take a shower right afterward.
I get it-- but come on, chill a little.

Breathe a little.

Thank me for what I did to you :-)
Let me thank you for you did to me.

Hold me dammit!

Well, it was never worth thanking, I never really had an orgasm?
It felt good. Really good sometimes, but he hadn’t gotten me to cummmmmmmm yet?
Perhaps my fault.

I once had a lover that taught me very well that in order to have good sex with anyone you needed to have good sex with yourself....

Following week: Fabulous dinner, fabulous talk about: my father issues (grrrrrreat!)
Bedtime.
Early bedtime.
Sextime at night.
Oh ya!!!!!
(Since when is it ultra exciting to have sex at night? Well when: the guy you are seeing, dating, boning, whatever you wanna call it, likes to pass out after too much wine. And he likes to do it his way. Wake up early for work with his ready to go hard on and then get it going. Cuz that’s when’s it good for him? What if that’s not really when it’s good for me hunny?)

So its night time, I’m excited, in all shapes and form of excitement, that we will be having sex at night and in the morning. Yippeee, lucky me!
I finally get to do my swagger with my lingerie that I have been wearing... attempt to be sexy...
We do it.
I’m on top.
I’m doing my thang.
He tugs my hair.
Awkwardly.
He tugs my hair again.
I’m open minded and I can get freaky, I’m cool with random shit (to a certain extent)
He is tugging at my hair and grunting.
It’s not hot
It’s not really forceful either, it’s like a freaking 4 year old tugging at your pants, saying mommy I need to pee .
Sorry, but it’s true
I pretend that I’m into it --
CUZ THAT’S WHAT WE DO
Light awkward Tug again and grunt louder and he is coming and I am not
Not at all
And within a second that he is coming post tugging on hair
He is now in shower alone
Bad boy
Bad dirty catholic boy
He feels dirty (he went to catholic school nothing against St. Mary)

I get myself off.
For the next few weeks this happens
We have sex (oh he doesn't do his tugging thing anymore- not really sure why I never said a word to him about it?!). I know what you are thinking, hard to believe, I now love to ask my partners later about our sexual experiences,

"so what was that thing you just did?"

Whether it was good or bad, I can tell a good lover when they can openly and honestly talk about sex. But, I wasn’t that savvy yet.
I was only 22! I did not want to talk about the wanna be pull of the hair that went bad trick!

SO, I digress.
For weeks, we have sex, 65% of the time in the morning
I try I really do, its nice it really is

But I can’t cum!

I can’t wait for when he cums
And he jumps out of bed and hops in the shower
And with the shower running, every single time
I touch and play and cum so perfectly

Alone

In his bed

While is is showering.

I get off.

Alone.

God the fear of him getting out of the shower and walking in on me doing this, probably makes it hotter.

One day I am walking around the "city" with a friend of mine
Showing her the new sites I am learning from my beau "hit me up"

Beautiful Fall day, la de daa
Much to my dismay--We run into him, with another spitfire!
She resembles me!
It’s so unavoidable.
We are facing each other on the street!

He says hello,
I am feeling ill almost as ill as I did when he tugged on my hair when I was trying to cum on top of a month prior.
He introduces me to this other girl
And He says that I am his old friend from college
Apparently I am an old friend from college now.

I'm hurt
But not that bad

He calls me repeatedly that night.
I don’t call back.

The next morning.

I dont call back.

All week.

I write him an email and its over, just like that.

Where and when did he fumble the pussy? Eh?

No late night sex? PUSSY FUMBLE

Pulling hair without force- PUSSY FUMBLE

Guys guys guys we can get freaky we really can, but there is a time and a place and moment... and if you’re gonna do it, do it! Don’t do it halfway! Pull her hair, if you want to be dominant- Dominate! Don't scurry around it and have some weird fantasty about the fact that your hand is tugging at her hair and groan like a school boy and lose your shit, without pleasing her too!

Get after it!

Deep breathe.

Me not coming? PUSSY FUMBLE

(some could argue this was my fault, and I’m ok with that, but come on!)

Above all!
Don’t be fucking someone every night, errr I mean morning and then when you run into them and you are with another chick, introduce them as your friend from college, are you stupid?

How about you: Run away, lie, avoid the situation, or dont be walking about town with girl #2 playa! And then expect to get sum that night form girl number 1?
Are you mentally retarded?

PUSSY FUMBLE

That was the 1st version of Hit me Up.

Then I run into this fool at 430 am.

I made someone upstairs mad and Hit me Up was some sort of penance.

At least it taught me how to masturbate well :-)

Word up.

Please don’t fumble the pussy in all the above criteria.

Peace and love.