Why aren't you smiling?

What does fumbling the pussy look like? Sound like? Feel like?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You plan a lunch date, you get ready the night before. You decide you are going to change out of your work clothes into that little red dress you just got. You wear no undies. You plan to meet at a certain location. He is late. He says he is starving, and not in the mood. You are wearing a red dress with no panties on. On your lunch break...

SUCKER PUNCH

You are in bed, shaved, waxed, smelling of a hint of clean and sexy fragrance (a hint not a lot folks), candles lit, room and house is clean. Your boyfriend has no idea, why would you tell him? You want to surprise him with a seductive evening. He says he will call on his way home from his evening class. He calls an hour late. He shows up 2 hours later. He shows up, and says he is hungry, doesnt notice that you are trying to set the mood for... romance...lust...connecting.
You oblige, make him dinner, he eats and passes out.

PUSSY FUMBLE

You are sitting at the bar. Alone. Waiting for your friend. He keeps looking at you. You glance at him here and there, you dont want to seem desperate. He is attractive. You play with your hair, order a drink. Cross your legs. He walks up to you, and says, why aren't you smiling. You say, hmm I dont know. He says, well arent you having a good time.
I say, Im actually waiting for a friend and sure I am having a good time. He says," Well then--you need to smile and lighten up". You say, ummm ok, you dont really know me. And I dont know why you are telling me to smile. I'm cool. I'm good even. He says well I wanted to get to know you and buy you a drink, but you arent smiling so maybe I dont. And he walks away. Scurries away. I love how this dude....gives me the eye....comes up to hit on me....and ends up insulting me in his process and trips up.... If I had a dime for everytime I heard this!

IDIOT

GET OUT OF THE GAME, YOU COULDNT EVEN HANDLE DAILY DOUBLES!

PUSSY FUMBLE

You are on vacation in a tropical location. You have a fabulous day, sex in the ocean, sex on the beach. You both just took showers. You are craving oral sex from your man. You love giving oral sex. You are rubbing after sun lotion all over each others backs. You start kissing and touching, he wants to have sex. You try and show him what you want. He ignores it. You whisper what you want, he ignores it. You give him oral sex. Just enough, not too much. Its clearly your turn. You ask sweetly, he says, he doesn't like to do that, and in his penis goes....

PUSSY FUMBLE (go down on us,if you do it right, you just got a headstart!)

You have had a few beers with a good friend of the opposite sex. You have always had crushes on each other, but never an opportunity. Beers establish lack of discretion. You go back to your place. You both tug and touch at each others clothing, you are turned on. And then you feel his back, its shaved... oh gawd... its prickly.... you slide your hands back up to his neck. You can't stop thinking about the razor burn on his back. Blahhhyuck!

PUSSY FUMBLE (wax if you are going to, please b natural, dont shave your back)

You workout together, shoot the breeze a lot. Talk a lot of shit. Have a competitive friendship, entirely platonic. A great night out and many attempts from him to get in the game, you let him in for one play. You are kissing, and actually enjoying it, maybe this friendship could be more, you think? he tickles your stomach. Weird. You are not a child. He does it again.You dont laugh. You are a woman who was about to get naked. Not anymore. Instantly turned off.

PUSSY FUMBLE -- GAME OVER

You buy tickets to your favorite R and B singer, at a classy venue. You buy a beautiful sleek dress, you get your hair done. he is supposed to meet you at 7pm. Its going to be an amazing night. You are so excited to show him how sexy you can be, how beautiful you can be, he always sees you in sweats. You dont hear form him at 5pm. Or 6pm. Your best friend, who is wearing casual attire not appropriate for the concert, and just dropping you off, she says she will join you as a back up option. You have never needed back up options. He doesnt show. You get a call from an unknown out of state number, barely hear his voice, "I'm sorry I cant make it something came up". At the last minute!? WTF. Concert is now starting. You are crushed. Stood up! for the first time in your life. Physically, ill. Nausea sets in. You dont even want to go now, but the tickets were very expensive, the dress, the hair. Ok. Fuck him. You call back this mysterious number he called from, there is no answer. He is a coward. Everyone is a couple at the show.

NEVER TRIP OR INJURE A FELLOW PLAYER OUT OF MALICE.

PUSSY FUMBLE

Its Valentines day, you have been together for about 10 months. You both dont want to spend much money or do anything foo foo. You decide you will turn your liv room into a restaurant and cook him an amazing meal that night. Its the morning of Valentines day, you want to sleep in, go to the gym with your girlfriend, sit in the sauna, shave, wax, prepare for a beautiful, mellow night. You need to go tot he store, and maybe grab a nice bottle of almond champagne, he loves that stuff. You wake up, but still lay in bed, you havent gotten to sleep in in months, yet alone in your full size bed and spread out. Within moments of your eyes open, the door opens. Its your boyfriend. He lets himself in, surprise, big smile, happy Valentine's day baby! Barely awake. Hey babe, what are you doing here? I wanted to see you! Lets go out to breakfast. You havent woken up yet, you are half awake in your sweats. You want to sleep more, alone, then go to the gym, then get sexy, then have him come over. be flexible you think. he means well. he says hurry up lets go. we go out to breakfast, we come home. he falls asleep on the couch. its Valentine's day. its now 1pm. no sex. no roses. nothing. not the plan you wanted. One day a year!

PUSSY FUMBLE- know the game and your position before you get suited up players!


Please dontfumblethe pussy.............