Karma

It was 102 degrees.

Sweat beads in every crevice on my body.
I felt like I just had the biggest release, everywhere.
Chills ran down my spine, and i was invigorated at the same time.
When I closed my eyes, all was right in the world.
When I opened them, I had no fear.

He lead me to Bikram Hot yoga. I reliazed this at the end of one of many Hot Yoga classes, the year 2010.

He was funny, hilarious.
I got a few looks at his washboard ab's during the bootcamp fitness class I taught.
I was more or less his personal trainer.
He wasn't my type.
Caucasian, brunette, shorter, stalky.
Nice abs though.
Have I mentioned he was funny?
I did the math.
He had a great job, career, owned his own home, and seem well liked.
He was so damn funny.
My co workers started noticing that I would light up when he was in the room.
I ignored it.
I went to a social yet work function.
The rest was history.
He made me dinners, and they were amazing.
He re modeled his house.
I was young, 24. It was 2004.

He was 29.
I was into the idea of us.
He cracked me up.
He noticed the little things, like that I have three freckles on my tummy that make an obtuse triangle.
There was chemistry, and fun, and humor, and dance parties in his house.
Correction, "dance off's".
He had flavor, for a ...
He took me to places I had never been.

My first white boyfriend.
I felt at ease, in control, and adored.
I was so happy.
One day he told me, he was having second thoughts, an old college fling was moving into town and he may still have feelings for her.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
I was shocked and heart broken.
We stayed up all night long.
I thought he was the one for me.
After a week, we were back together.
I started noticing he would have already had a few beers by the time I would come over for dinner.
he stopped making dinner or eating dinner, just drinking dinner.
I was still heart broken yet happy to have him back and ignored the signs
the flashing red signs
He was drunk all the time.
He loved wine, tequila, and at least a half rack.
I focused on his abs and my laughter he ignited
I started drinking a lot with him too.
We were now that couple.
Drunk.
I carried on with my marathon training somehow, and partied with him every night.
He was often late for work.
He was often moody when sober.
I was young and still focusing on the house, and us.
He invited me to thanksgiving with his family.
I came form a recently broken family and was so excited.
To be in a normal family setting, to feel normal, a part of something.
His family was awkward, warm and cold, didnt drink.
His mother babied him, he was almost 30.
I ignored the red flags, and carried on my fantasy.
my best friend who was roommate hated him.
I ignored that.
He got a DUI.
I didn't know anyone who ever go a DUI.
If I were to admit it to myself, that was wrong and not okay, and better yet a wake up call, a means for me to end this.
Somehow I ignored that.
Oh, and by the way, at this point-
He and I were now not officially together, but together every night.
I practically lived at his house.
He had another freak out and said he wasn't cut out for a serious relationship
I didn't get it
But that is what we are doing?
Ya, well I just don't think its for me.
Another blow to my heart, my head was already not working, just my sweet little hopeful heart
He went on a business trip and didn't talk to me.
I went and ran my first marathon.
I was a mess, people knew, everyone could tell - my light was gone.
Regardless of his "issues" he made me lite up, and smile.
I wasn't the happy go lucky type.
He made me that girl.
He made me that girl who smiled big, because she felt loved.
Unrequited love.
To this day i don't if I have met someone who had made me light up like he did.
I had only one very very unhealthy college on and off again boyfriend to compare him too.
I was a pro fling girl, 1-3 months max, but relationship- naive.
After several months of not talking and no contact, I asked for my things back.
He kept putting it off.
Months went by, he turned 30.
And finally, he dropped off my things, and talked me into a drink.
Remember I was 24, stupid, heart sick.
So we started it up again, less sex, more just hanging out.
Because that makes it better right?
I continued my training for my next marathon.
I was starting to feel numb but still very attached to him.
We went to concerts, got drunk, made out in public, and I guess I settled for that.
I became needy, highly sensitive, emotional, and my light flickered on and off, depending on his mood and how he treated me.
At this point my best friend/roommate- hated him and me.
I chose him for awhile.
I missed me period.
I went to New York on a girls trip, and spent the entire trip, taking pregnancy tests over and over, calling my obgyn, and then letting him know.
I was pregnant.
He said, "what do you want me to say".
For as heart sick as I was, I was now a victim of a heart broken terminal illness.
Within a month, I was no longer pregnant.
I moved.
I stopped running.
Barely ate.
Took nyquil like candy.
He wasnt there for me like he promised.
He actually announced to me that he had a new girlfriend and could not be bothered.
I made him know about every evil thought that went thru my head, until I "wasnt pregnant".
I went nuts.
I made him know that he created a pain in me that no one would ever do again.
he changed me.
He killed me.
I had these dark moments, with nyquil, of wanting to sleep forever.
After, sleeping for 4 days.
Another good friend, had an intervention, we went for a walk.
I started realizing, I was punishing myself.
He was the fucked up one, not me, I was fucked up for being with him, on any level.
I started running again.
I started running with a girl, who did Hot Yoga.
I was never into this stuff, as I was an athlete, I didnt want to be bothered with slow, stretching, kumbaya my lord.
blah blah blah
She talked me into it.
I thought it was an hour long class.
It was a 90 minute long class, temperature at 102 degrees.
I hated it.
I felt miserable during the entire class, felt my lunch come up a few times even.
And the teacher was like this nazi male yoga guru, that I did not admire at all!
But I went back, again, and again.
Athletes do not quit.
I started to feel my own inner light come back.
My running improved.
I got a new job.
I loved Hot Yoga, it was mine, no boy, or person could hurt me or judge me, it was my thing.
I had days and still do, where I want to drive off a cliff.
But hot yoga, soothes me (and kicks my ass, its not an easy stretch like I thought!).
I had to work in the same building as him now with my new job.
My new job was in his fucking building, i twas an amazing opportunity, so I couldn't let this guy ruin it.
We hadn't talked in over 3 months.
I tried to be professional and ask him to lunch, and clear the air.
Mainly for myself, as I wanted to rock this new position and every time I had to go to the bathroom and walk by the mere sight of him or his side of the building, I would feel like I was going to hurl.
The opposite of butterflies.
He avoided me like the plague, rightly so.
he even seemed scared of me, which hurt and amused me at the same time.
I started to glow from my own self gain
My hot yoga practice.
Within 2 months of this avoidance dance, he happened to get fired, for sleeping with his direct report.
I have never wished evil upon him, but this was the most beautiful episode of karma I have ever experienced.
I never saw him again.

And, I still do hot yoga.
I have never dated a man who drinks like him again.

I have never stayed with someone who will not commit to me again.
Sometimes, the worst experiences in your life, take you to new better ones.
(Don't repeat the bad ones though, when you see the signs, gracefully walk away)

peace&luv

& dont, baby please, don't fumble the pussy, yours or hers....

A decade of Pussy-isms and Findings

A decade of learning about my pussy, many pussy fumbles and fumbling my pussy. It is all about to pass! It seems most appropriate to honor the highlights. I never thought I would have even started this blog, it was (and is still supposed to be) a book. I started writing and sharing these ridiculous antics when I was 19. This year, I was vastly inspired by three women blog writers: Alexi Wasser, Sula, and Penelope Trunk (check them out!).

http://imboycrazy.com/

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/

http://inlawswithmoney.blogspot.com/

A few close friends also inspired me, and humbled me, by following the wild adventures and trails of my pussy, well it was the least they could do, and considering many of them actually lived through it!

2009, is a mark of ending with a means to a new beginning on so many levels. I have that tingly all over feeling, like a child before Christmas, who can't sleep, but when does fall asleep--falls asleep smiling. 2010 is going to be magical for my pussy! A Pussy renewal! I'm serious!

An Ode to 2000~2009
A decade of pussy lessons, learnings, findings, and Pussy-isms
WHAT MY PUSSY HAS LEARNED:
*may apply to penis

Love your body, love your self. This means your pussy.

Be nice to it.
Always practice safe sex, be a condom girl forever, until he has proven faithful (and sorry but sometimes there is no guarantee!). Check your shit out and get his shit checked out. If he really wants you, he will. If he doesn't... we don't like him anyway. Respect.
Learn how to please yourself and then he will be able to navigate even better. And when he doesn’t please you, you can teach him, or please yourself!

Be open to new things!

Have an outlet for yourself whether its running or playing basketball or yoga or hiking or golfing or dancing, you need to have something just for you, that no one can alter or mess with that gives you peace and happiness, and always brings you back to your mojo. Back to your self.

Mojo- sexy
NO, sexy is not being thin and tan and stacked and rich, its having an inner peace and intensely positively awesome vibe with your self so much that people vibe you out and are attracted to your energy!

Your body is a temple. I don’t care what anyone says, when you are working out (whatever that means to you, and sometime’s ok, fine sex can be included as a workout but not all the time! lol)... Truth is: you are a better lover and better woman and better man and better everything when you are treating your body well! Get your body fine tuned as best as you can, we only have one body in this adventure of this life...so challenge your self. Eat well too, when you eat crap your cum stinks!

And Ladies don’t want to go anywhere near your penis! There I said it.
Quiet your mind. Ladies, gents, when you are unsure, insecure, trippin, or something other than pleased with your self or your partner or partners......relax. The more we try to play God and control things, over analyze things, obsess over things, think and re think things, the more we make it worse. Relax. Let go, and quiet your mind. Things have a way of working out.

No one ever died of a broken heart.

It may have really really fucked you up. Made you feel sick, depressed, and all sorts of intensely evil and unattractive feelings. Cry on your birthday at a bar, alone, to a hot bartender who then buys you your drink and then you accidentally fall off the bar stool. But a broken heart doesn’t kill you. Be open to love and be open to dealing with loss of love. It happens. The only consistent thing in life is change, enjoy the ride.

When someone asks for space, give it to them!
If you don’t, this may be the last time you see them.
If you do, no matter how difficult and gut wrenching it is, you may obtain massive respect and reach a higher level in that relationship. Or it may take you on a different path that you were more destined to be on!

Relationshits.
Don’t be in rush, or plan to be in or out of one, go with the flow. You are what is most important, not what someone else wants. This sounds selfish. Sometime s we need to be selfish. All of the energy I have spent one other men, helping them, doing “them”, being there for “them”, living my life for “them:” I could have gotten my maters, PhD and doctorate, I swear to god! Do you first, then a little of them. I made a vow to not be in a relationship and recently accidentally fell into one. I squirmed ad kicked and pushed for 2 months, until I got out of it. I feel so much better alone. I knew all along I needed to be alone. Don’t get pulled into other people wanting to be with you, when you KNOW you aren’t ready or aren't that into them.

Boundaries. Have them.

Don’t know what I’m talking about?
See a counselor.

Just kidding ;-) I learned about boundaries from my counselor.
Yes, see a counselor, if you are doing the same stupid crap over and over, check yourself! It DOES NOT mean you are crazy or even mentally ill (ask for a diagnosis) it means someone sometimes needs a professional objective third party that can check you, and your ‘stuff’ and free you up. It’s positive to ask for help, and take some action on improving your life.

Back to boundaries: Learn your limits, and give people limits. There are many people walking around in adult bodies who are still children. Man-child’s. Don’t give yourself away. Be open, but keep boundaries up. Some people will take you for the ride of your life, and then you may stop and realize you have lost your life.

Play the game.
Nah nah nah guuuurrrrlll, create your own game.

I hear that little voice saying “No, don’t play games that’s immature, be open to love, be yourself, lalalala...".

Kumbay ya my lord.
Bullshit. Life is a game.
There is always a game.
Be yourself yes, but wait until people earn your trust, respect, and love, don’t just give it away. Unless you want to have a night of really crazy wild sex with a pro basketball player --then do it for your pussy, wear a condom, have fun, make sure he leaves in the morning and then forgive yourself!

Forgive yourself
Over and over
Let it go

Forgive your father, ladies.
Trust me, if you have issues with your father, it is going to directly results in your man issues.
I used to say "f that" and then "that exact attitude" followed me around for awhile until I did forgive. It’s rampant. Parents do just the best they can, we can blame them, but after a little bit we just need to create our own story.

Create your own story.
Don’t compare.
Comparing other yourself to other people is just depressing. Comparing every man to another man is just disappointing. Every guy/girl is a new chapter or page or even, a book!

Grooming
Please groom ladies. Take care of your body and your grooming to the nth degree.
I have a new one, blow dry your pussy at least once a week. Its great, feels great, is great for your pussy and my N.D recommend it! Ha!

& Men, you want us to trim, and wax, and shave, ok, sounds lovely, I love a fresh waxed clean pussy on myself, but meet us half way please and thank you.

Guess what!? Once you go black, you CAN go back.
(You don’t have too)
But you can ;-)
Be an equal opportunity employer:

Black, White, Puertorican or Haitian, yum yum chocolate chip!
Enjoy!

Create your own rules
And break them.

Don’t recycle.
Recycling men, going back to ex's, old flings, you can rationalize "its good sex" all you want, but its going backwards, its giving energy to old patterns that don’t serve you or your pussy.
Pussy always always wants new..... I know we hear a lot there is one thing better than pussy its new pussy. Well, I am pretty loyal to certain dick, but I don’t not recycle.
Been there, don’t that.
Don’t recycle old stories.

Never say never
I fell in love with a married man. A 20 year old who lived with his parents. A man who owned his own home with a dog and a great career, and was an alcoholic, surprise! Adventure of life.
Forgive yourself and Let go

Do not under estimate the power of alone time.
Being alone
Sitting with yourself
Without TV ... Without your treadmill...Without texting, tweeting, facebooking
No, not solo for excessive amounts of times we are social creatures, but recharge your batteries alone, frequently, it’s good for the soul.
Personally, if I don't spend some true alone time at least once a week with myself, I cant think straight. I see it in others too. Love yourself. Be with yourself. Stop running from you.

Don’t just listen to your friends, listen to you.

Yes, ask, analyze, critique, and use them as a sounding board, that’s cool.
But, do what you want!
But, I'm a so happy I didn’t sleep with that guy on my last trip home! Thanks to my good friend girlfriend for talking me out of it! I think? ;-) Friends are the best thing ever, its true, but we all have to live out our own dreams, in and out of the bedroom!

Do not attach to his mother. I know she is awesome, fun, polite, kind, and all the things you dreamed of in a mother, but she is not YOUR mother. He doesn't want you to be best friends with his mother. If you are married, it might be slightly appropriate to have a realtionship with her, but still do not be too close. Be kind, be loving, do not attach to mommies of boyfriends.

Shit happens.
Crazy shit happens. No, I don’t like anal sex, pardon the pun, sorry, not for me.
Kidding.
What I mean is, the unexpected tragedy or miracle does happen... enjoy the ride.
I was madly in love, happy, healthy, and his best friend committed suicide, he went into an intense depression (rightly so) - we eventually had to go our separate ways. I spent so much time grieving over it not being fair or it not working according to my plan.
That is life.

It’s your life.
Your pussy.
Enjoy it.
Be good to it.
(while you are enjoying your life, try not to drunk text, call, unless you already have his dick on lockdown- it’s just not sexy)


One good thing about music when it hits you feel no pain! ~ Bob Marley
Always always have music in your life
For your pussy, she needs it!
Just don’t listen to Coldplay or David Gray for hours on end; you will end up in a straightjacket.
It IS ok to listen to Mariah Carey's rendition of "All I want for Xmas is you" on repeat for days and days and dance alone in your room.

Be careful what you wish for! OK, some of these 'isms' are cliché, but I mean come on, all I wanted was someone to have amazing sex with, and all of sudden I had him, and it was great! And then I wanted more... but that was not what I wished for. End of story. It also has gone like this, all I wanted was someone to have amazing sex with, and then he wanted more, and he bugged me. And I had to say goodbye. Get rid of the shit that weights you down.

You know those times when you don’t wear cute undies, you haven’t shaved your legs, you put on a ball cap or a hoody, and those are the time, when the universe presents with you something sexy in the form of a man! Be prepared or forgive yourself for not looking perfect. I tend to work on the later, it’s a lot of work being a perfect girl, and I can’t do it! And most of the time the guys don’t really care (sort of)! Wabisabi~ imperfection is also perfection in its finest. Sometimes described as beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete"

With that, I am sure I forgot some other valuable lessons, so plese forgive me ;-)

Above all... always recognize the law of attraction, you get what you are.
Its basic and its true.

You don’t love yourself and have low self esteem- you are going to attract tools, and be so excited they like you, just because you are going thru a bad phase of life... gross!
Or you love yourself and are treating your pussy and your body and your heart with love and kindness, you are calling your mother every Sunday , you have forgiven your father, you are working out, you are not drunk dialing boys, you wish your ex boyfriend well, you are rocking your career, trying new things, unafriad of being alone, being a good friend, and… watch out world! You are glowing! You better have those boundaries up, your game ON, your heart healed, your pussy ready... because you are attractive, mojo is high, and it’s raining men!


So much peace and luv... 2010 is ON!

thank you for following

dont fumble the pussy on new years eve please!

I'm in love with MaryJane

I grew up in an area where marijuana was widely acceptable, well, where is it not...? It was considered from "the land"and "natural"and all that shit.

Anyway, I was a jock and somehow my father did an excellent job at keeping me away from drugs. He has skills, how did he do this? He didn't tell me not to do drugs or drink... he just told me that "I was smarter than that", and that "I wasnt an idiot", and that I was too good to do 'that shit' ... and I somehow believed him. Fathers are so powerful for daughters. We believe their every word, until we don't. Fathers have a lot of power to raise amazing women. Fathers can influence their daughters self-esteem in magical ways.

My father empowered me from a young age.

So I believed him, and I dont remember going around telling people I was smarter than them or better than them, but I remember knowing deep down that athletes, smart females, and the person I trulystrived for and wanted to be, just wasn't into drugs. My first boyfriend smoked pot, and maybe even sold pot, and I never even tried it, I wasn't even interested. I was more into him than anything, but I somehow was on lockdown with doing drugs still.

So, I went off to college, well seasoned beyond my years. I wasn't a prude, by Senior year of high school I dabbled in beer, wine, and hard liquor and figured that was enough,I could hold my own and party. Still, it wasnt until my 2nd year in college, my sophomore year, when a girl in my dorm taught me how to smoke the Bob Marley. Ironically that was the same year I chopped my hair short for the first time in my life (we had a rule in our family that my sister and I had to have long hair, weird, I know). I dont think there was much communiucation with daddy dearest that year. I wasn't running. He wasn't my coach.We didnt have much to talk about other than his late tuition checks, or lack of tuition checks.

So Saah was a cool chick, soccer player, chill, hippie. She had a really good vibe and laugh. I wanted to be like her. She taught me how to smoke ganga. We lite incense. Stuck towels under the doors. And puffed.

I got high for the first time with her guidance, I laughed harder than I ever had before and we skipped around the all girls dorm rooms looking for munchies and having the time of our lives, we may have made up a secret language and alter ego names for ourselves.

Whatever. We had fun!

When girls get high we geek out, we let it all out, all that repressed stuff! Sucking your belly in and eating right and fixing your hair and studying every night and being nice to mean girls and calling your mother back even though you really don'twant too...all that STUFF!

Smoking weed is a release.... we act silly!
Boys mostly in my epxerience get really really quiet, play video games, or golf, or watch tv and just .........................duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dumdumdumdumdum.

Which is fine.

Girls do this too, but most of the time we get goofy.

So this was new for me. I loved it! All the stress of my body and my inner most thoughts and boys and does he like me or not like me and how am I going to pass this class and how am I going to pay for school and i wish I could buy cute clothes like that girl over there and....
it all floated away with every puff.

I had a new crush on pot.

I did it every few weeks that year with her. She got A's in all her classes and stayed thin. I barely got by and got my first little belly my 20 year old body had seen.

So I started a relationship with pot, like any relationship, when I wanted it I had it and when I didnt - I found something else.

My now best friend, who also was a prude in high school, had gotten into getting high in college. I truly believe its a female form of letting go. A breed of girls who were pretty and jocks and smart and worried about getting into a good college, well we were tired. Tired of the rat race. Tired of being type A.Tired of being everything to everyone. But not mature enough to know that. Smoking pot was like a mental vacation. A break from the pressures of our type A young hormonal high strung persona. The effect is different foreveryone. It was the same for her and I. We loved vacation. Even better She had a boyfriend who always had plentiful amounts of the green. We had a blast. We would get high, and make amazing decadent meals. Crab and lobster and steaks. We all became good good friends.

Peeps would stop by his house at 10pm on saturday night on their way to go out, and we would be sitting on the couch, three of us staring at the TV, reggae music blasting from another room, full bellies, satisfied and a kitchen full of dishes- as if it was thanksgiving....and 12 people had made and eaten a 4 course meal.That was how our Saturday nights looked.

But it was just the 3 of us. Chillaxin. Stoned. Satisfied.

After that year, he broke up with her. Idiot. Asshole. He was like my brother. I guess he thought he needed to be with this well known slut bucket ( ironically he is now unhappily married to her with 3 kids- Nice job retard). Anyway, so she and I took our peace pipes and started our own dinner parties.

We would sit in my room at Melrose Place (old name of our 6 girl house of girls gone wild- meets smalltown liberal arts college with a hot tub and 5 bedrooms). She and I would shut my bedroom door- get high... giggle.... and not give a flying fuck!

We were not angry, we were happy. Happy stoned. My roomates would be scurrying around to pick out a cute outfit to go out and we would be chillin. Come midnight we would rollout in our t- shirts and flipflops... funny thing is...the boys liked it.

A few boys specifically knew our game and always wanted to tag along once we entered civilization. Pot isnt necessarily a social drug.You are happy without people around. We were in our own world.

It may have probably been one of the sexiest things: two aestically different looking chicks, super mellow, super chill, and low maintnence showing up at the parties.... once everyone is drunk and we are laughing in the corner at ourselves. no needs. no issues.no drama. no sorority.

My love for football players died out slowly with The Syndrome, and I was onto the soccer players, after a hiccup in basketball that I will save for later. Soccer players are chill. They are athletes that know how to party. But they dont need to scream and yell and do keg stands, they just kick it.

Jeff and Patrick always wanted to kick it. They followed us around like baby ducklings. We lead them around on a leash. It was always a good time. When most of the girls wanted to get up and dance to Diddy, we were going to go get high on nature walk.

They were both attractive, but somewhat shy. They just never seemed to score if you know what I mean. If they did score,it wasnt the kind of score girls were proud of. These dudes were just young punks still trying to figure it out and get some tail.No game.No tact. Jeff was our age and Patrick a few years younger. Sexy on the field, and just Jeff and Patrick off the field. Funny at best.

When most of the girls were either puking in the bathroom or crying they were so drunk, we were laughing our ass off and looking at each other rolling our eyes with the boys.

While girls were saying no-- but cock teasing and then saying no to sex without a condom late night.

We were back home getting munchies.

On repeated occasions, we would be at a party, look around, Patrick and Jeff watching our every move, and then we would sneak out.... they would try and follow us and ask what party we were going to next.... hehe heeee little did they know. We didnt often like to share.

We would go on a munchie run and hit the hay.
Not like just a bag of chips and 7up munchie run.
We would get skittles and mamba: sweet
ChexMix and Cheetoes: salt/crunchy
Skor bar and snickers: chocolate
Cherry Coke
Cream Soda
mmmmmm

We would spend almost $20-30 on munchies, thanks to my college food stamp card. (So wrong!)See I never figured out how this worked, but if you were getting a certain amount of federal student loan aide, you also got a food stamp card? I was using that thing at Plaid Pantry at 2 am like nobody's business! Please dont judge me.

We would set our picnic up on top of my bed, smoke some more and pass out.

Repeat.

Everything in balance.

I have a sensitive opinion about pot. I don't think its for everyone and I don't necessairly completely condone it. You have to handle your business. You can't be a loser about it. Its not evil or a gateway drug. We all have different experiences and reactions. For me, it was a release and looking back, mostly a damn good one, I was so wound up tight with all the shit going on in my head, drinking was only making it worse. Smoking freed me up!

Smoking is cool if you have done your shit. Done your workout for the day. Done your homework. Crossed your t's and then you can have your down time. But if you are doing it 3 and 4 times a day and not taking care of your body and your responsbilities, yes it is bad. We all know what that looks like. Instant pussy fumble.

So I digress.

It was one of those lovely nights, my home girl and I were chillin, Jeff and Patrick were by our sides. Oh ya we never hook up with these boys, they just like to be near us. Yup, sometimes that is how it works. Irie Mon.

We decide we will all have a lot more fun if we go to someones apartment and party on our own. So we do. We smoke. It can be like foreplay, it can be sexy. (It can also be for people who cant deal, are not mtoivated, need to lose weight and get a job and start dealing with reality :-)!).

Jeff shows something to my home girl in his room. Smooth, so simple sometimes. isn't it? I let her go without a caution 'dont ditch me girl code' cuz im chillin with Patrick. The thing is she hasnt really gotten any since old boy broke her heart, so I am hoping some luvin will translate its way into her life. And of course, he is friends with her ex. What better way to mind fuck over your ex man, than to get it on with his friend or teammate!

BU YA

that wasnt the plan though. we were peaceful chicks just doin our thang. and it worked so easily.

sorry if its sexier than that halter top you bought at forever 21 and that dance move you are doing and that smirnoff ice you are sippin and that fried straight hair you are swinging...ya im wearing a white tshirt and old jean skirt and laughing with the boys and they want me more than you.

WAT??!!!

oh sorry, that was an interruption dedication to a few of the girls I went to college with ;-)

So anyway, Patrick and I sit and listen to music and talk. Who the hell knows what we are talking about but it all makes sense to us....moon...stars...life's purpose... We are sitting on his bed. I physically feel like gumby. I have a grin on my face, I am happy, mellow and my body is soooo relaxed, its like post sex post orgasm, but there was no act.

He sits close enough to me so his legs are adjacent to mine, but he isnt trying to touch me we are just sitting close. I remember the first time a boy did this move on me I was in 9th grade. He always sat in the same spot 5 seats toward the front from the way way back (way way back seat on the bus was rad). If I was lucky I would always get on the bus, look around, roll my eyes, and pretend like I wanted to sit anywhere but there. Begrudgingly sit next to him, ignore and not look at or talk to him, but wait... he always did this thing. He always repostiioned his legs in a way where we were touching once I sat down. I loved it. I was 15.

Patrick and I were sitting close. I was high and happy and... man I was so high, but my pussy was starting to wake up...

you know when things are going the way they are with a dude and then all of a sudden they say something or give you a look or a glance or you smell a wiff of their scent and BAM!
its instinct. your body starts twtching. u start thinking about it. you cant stop. you stop listening to what they are talking about- you stop watching the movie on tv- whatever you are doing you are now on autopilot and thinking of only one thing. you are just primal & you want to be touched.

i knew my friend was getting it on and happy for her too!

hey it aint no fun unless the hommies get some
seriously.

so i wanted a little sumthin sumthin too
he told me that I was "hela cool"
I told him that he was awesome
flattery will get you everywhere
he got up and went to the bathroom
(Again i tell you! the boys going to the bathroom?! what is the deal with these bathroom visits exactly on point when i want to make out? and they are weird, they are extremely long bathroom visits, mysterious bathroom visits.)
he comes back and sits close again.
sitting next to each other.
nothing could slip between us.
we hold hands.
we are 21, not 7
its still nice
touching can feel quite nice when enhanced by being a little high
do the math
we sit
and stare
and chill
and stare at the wall
and exhale
and inhale
and chill

and he rests his head,
his cranium next to my head,
heavily
his head is heavy and tilted to the side of my head
im sitting on his bed, aginst a wall and have nowhere to go
or attempt to shift the weight on me
his bedroom
therefore he is in charge
im there
im there because i want to be
im there because i have wanted to be for hours
and he cocks his head against mine like im a lazyboy headrest recliner
he rests it there for awhile

what the hell am i supposed to do about this heavy head resting--
not even resting on my shoulder but on my skull!?

thats it!?
thats all he giving me? my pussy, i mean my mind, i mean my pussy twitches with confusion
Im not down for sex I just want to make out and a little touchy feelly
my friend is in the other room doing god knows what and homeboy is using my head at a pillow?!
I sit there for ahwile in disbelief and hope for something more to come
and it doesnt

SoI get up, and i go to the bathroom.

my girl comes out

thank god (because there is nothing worse than taking one for the team when your girl needs to stay and you want to go! i know i have done it to her a million times!)
and
we
go to plaid pantry of course!
I need more chocolate this time;-)

Pussy Fumble!

If they are there with you, [the girl or the boy] after countless hours of talking, discussing, hand holding, cuddling, leg touching--> they most likey really want to you to kiss them. Now, they may not want to get naked or be your girlfirnd or meet your mother, but they want to kiss you.


Smoking pot is not evil unless abused.

Having a partner in crime (i.e. the journey of life) is essential at times. Guys have wingmen and they are smart creatures to stay in packs, girls need 'em too!

Go get some and dont fumble the pussy being thrown at you...

just handle it with care please...

In honor of #10 blog, 3pt field goal .... play by play in dirty detail coming up.... its a doozy!

peace&luv
thank you for reading!

Baby, don't talk...

After the syndrome... I learned quite well how to stand on my own two feet and find my own game and my own pawns of what was left of my college career. That's right, I had my own fun with my data collecting.

I was now a senior in college, which meant I could of been stressing on interviewing with companies looking to hire a brilliant college graduate like myself, or I could be checking out the younger classmen stock.

(hey women can multi-task)

He said he had a "girlfriend", never understood those fools who had girlfriends living hundreds of miles away, while in college, while prime pussy was being thrown at them. I would soon later find out why this worked for him...

I like my fun but I do not like drama or hurting people, so I kept my contact to flirting and smiles when in passing with him. Come to think of it I dont even think I fantacized about him.
Wow, good girl, me.

I mean lets be real,I didn't know yet that some of the most epic sexual moments in history are usually...when....ummmm... they are with people who have other partners.... but see I didnt know that yet. And yes I am going to hell.

And for those of you who think I am terrible now... just don't do it! Dont have affairs or cheat....but for those of you who have...you know what Im talking about...that wrong, spontaneous, sneaky act is irresistible.

I digress. I was sick of my on again off again main dude and throughly enjoying being eyed and checked out by the younger dudes. This one was cute, lots of positive energy, enthusiasm, and naturally a football player. I could eat him for dinner.

There were the usual suspects as the usual weak frat college party doing the usual grind...and word out on the street is young cute one was now single? hmmmmmmm.

Newly freed into the wild. I took it upon myself and my pussy to remind him of what it was like and the reaping rewards.

I'm sorry to say I have blocked out many memories of college for many valid reasons as you can tell if you have read this blog... so bare with me. And I dont feel like calling up one of my girls and asking her how it all went down... but here we go...

I end up walking back to Cute Boys dorm room.

Dorm?

WTF.

This is like a breaking and entering crime scene when you are a senior in college, walking, by choice, with freshmen and sophomore boys, boys mostlikely wearing their football jerseys from the victory game they played that day...boys who may live in the only "male only jock dorm". I am a ho for the night, and dont care. Im in control. Im doing some community service. Cutie wants to kick it.

We walk in like pack, we are all going to...guess? Smoke the bob marley ... get high.

If I need to get high to makeout with someone, its not a good sign! More on that later. Lots of that.

So I'm in his dorm room, with all his hommies, a few come in and out just to scope the scene. They peep their head in like roosters (as I hear low voiced whispers of my name down the hall and I think no one believes that a female senior was in Cutie's room getting high!). Ha.

I smile, nod, and wave.

We are all chillin, smoking, and of course analyzing music. A few boys have the brain cells to start to trickle off, and leave us alone. We are looking up tunes and and comparing music taste.I am somewhatenjoying myself. This is mental foreplayfor me.He is sweet, complimenting me, likes goodmusic. He mayget a blow job. (its not always that easy... remember this was college).

So Imhappy.

So, he decides he wants to sing a song for me.

OK OK OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

A song, a live, song?

A song sung by a man, with an amazing voice can be heavenly and breathtaking. Especially if you are in church. But a song sung by anyone, just cause, its just goofy. Leave it for the shower boys. I mean I get the whole fun, drunk,karaoke obsession, but thats different. A love ballad impromptu?

I play along, cuz thats what we do.

And he sings

And is no musiq soulchild.

I lie thru my teeth and tell him he should def. sing for the upcoming talent show (wait am I in high school or college? college. hmmm.)

Funny thing is. Well, I will tell you later.

So next, I probably did the massage his shoulder rub down and went for his scalp and temples-trickey of mine. That always always puts them into a coma like putty in your hands. A trickey that i always enjoy, i love making men exhale and relax.

One thing leads to another (thank god!) and we are making out and I am topless. And I am on his bottom bedbunk. It's going well.

I am pretending I am a freshman in college and making out with one of the star football players. Gooooo me! This is girl language for head hen! (but im not a freshman).

We kiss and kiss and wait is this high school?

He wants to talk.

I dont.

I start kissing him again ... he stops and asks me about where I grew up...we kiss and he asks me about the game he played in that day and if i saw his play during the 3rd quarter.... we kiss and he asks me what its like to be a senior in college...we kiss and he asks and we kiss and he asks...this boy has a question for everything and my answers go like this:

its cool
thats cool
ummm hmmm
really?
its cool

and usually start nibbling his ear, neck, or yumyum grabbing those biceps to get him back on point. I take his shirt off and am easing my way down south, I dont just go straight for the goods, I ease east and west and north and south and keep him guessing.Its going well.

Im really enjoying myself, and he isnt asking questions or talking anymore.

I unbuckle his pants.... he unbuckles his everythought!

He wants to talk more!

About his ex girlfriend.

I cuddle up to him like a lapcat and listen to him exaplain how 24 hours ago he was in a relationship. And how he thinks "im really cool" and he is so glad he is single.Within 30 seconds he is doing a 180 now and saying that "maybe he shouldnt of broken up with her" and then it starts to sound like maybe she broke up with him. Diaarhea of the mouth. Lucky me. I am now a mommy.

and mommy doesnt want to sit here
playing counselor
in your dorm room
topless
high as a kite
thats not what i came here for

I realize I might as well give some good karma and listen to him and stroke his ego and remind him of his youth and how many fishes their are in sea...we know the drill of break-up cliche's. Too bad they are always true.

"It takes time".
"When one door closes,another one opens"
"He/She wasn't good enough for you"

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (its all true!)

I must have said something right
because now he was taking off my pants

thank you! I am not going to hell!
we are back in business!

strangely enough. i wasnt turned on. and young as he was i wasnt in the mood after all this build up to have a trouble shooting potentially high risk of bad downtwon teaching experience....i.e. teaching him about my clitoris.

so i got back on top of him and continued what i started before his every emotional tought show and tell. I unbuckled his pants completely, they were baggy of course
it was dark, by now I usually could locate a hard package of some sort whispering to me to come visit? Strange. So I used my hands and mouth and tongue as a tool for direction to find it...no eyes, it was dark.

I couldn't find it.

I kept a slow sensual pace and could not find his fuckin penis
I must be really high

ohhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyy GODDDDDDDDD

that is it!?!?

oh my god

he started moaning and groaning and saying how great my touch felt

holy shit

So now I am going down on him... and i feel like...

OK, I dont how else to describe this for you,
I feel like i am sucking on a lollipop
not a drumstick
not a tootsie roll pop
not a banana
it was some hard candy

it was a dum dum. you know those cheapy little one bite candys on a stick
please tell me you know what im talking about
isnt there a rootbeer flavor?

poor little baby had the smallest penis i have ever encountered!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the hell do you do when you are there
you are looking staright at it, down there
ON him
you are in the middle of performing the act
the act that you traveled far and wide to the boys dormroom
spotted by college paparotzzi for
you decided it would be worth it

and you are going down on a pinky size when hard penis!
what do you do!?!?!?!?!
there should be some type of warning label for these things!
I just went for it.

Maybe it would get bigger!?
I sucked
and did my thang
and it didnt.

And he moaned and groand.
In the dark,
Me,
Sucking on that pinky finger sized penis.
I literally was rolling my eyes.

I knwo what you are thinking, probably wasnt that small, blah blah blah,or maybe he wasnt hard, or maybe he was a little short guy.

No,no,no.
He was stalky. Not tall but slightly average build.
It was definitely hard.
He was of african american decent.......gotta say it........
It was definitely the size of my pinky finger, I did the test, in my mouth.

Up until now I had had a series of interactions with different color and shaped, sized penises....some very large, long, average, or smaller....but never ever ever like this...

What the hell do you do when you are going down on someone and you literally want to shout out loud oh my god! are you kidding me?! And run away screaming I def. dont want that INSIDE me!?!?!?!?

I was in shock. He gets off and I am already ready to plan my walk of shame outta there. Get me out of this play pen.

He holds me
Very cute
He was cute
Poor guy
I couldnt stop thinking about how I need to............BOLT out of there.......

When I start to hear...
wait
WHAT
is that
NO WAY
whimpering?
is that?
OH MY GOD HE IS CRYING

He starts talking about his ex girlfriend. Now my eyes have rolled so many times in the dark that this is becoming cruel punishment.

He cries
whimpers
I rub his back.I put him to bed, literally tuck him in. (not drunk, havent been high in hours, this is au natural boy with rampant emotions)

Up until that momemnt I have never in my life been so happy to walk on the frosted cold grass freezing in the wee hours of the morning to get to my own bed alone. With peace and quiet.

no more dorms
no more little boys please!


Got an option at pussy? Newly single?
~DONT FUMBLE THE PUSSY~

Man.... what do we learn from.... this story has come out in almost every gathering of women drinking cocktails when size comes up....and I always always win! I sucked the smallest pinky penis ever! That in itself is worth it. No one ever believes me when I raise my pinky finger like Dr.Evil...and I say I swear to god. You dont even wanna know the whole story.It happened to me.

He ended up singing that song in the talent show weeks later.
I always was sweet to him.
He ended up getting back together with his girlfriend.

Not necessairly a pussy funble but this story...experience... is a noteworthy one.

Yes,I man handled the smallest dick ever
Yes,the theory its the motion of the ocean may exist so help me god.
Luv for penis of all sizes!

No, please do not talk about your ex when you are trying to get some!
No, do not talk about your ex............... ever!
That what friends are for.

Yes, perhaps I shouldnt have taken a stroll down memory lane to a boys dorm as an upper classmen woman.
Yes, I should have bolted once he started talking about his ex.

No, you should never sing a song impromptu for a girl, unless you are on your knees proposing marriage (and that may make me bolt too!)

Yes, I did do a favor for all mankind by continuing to finish the "job" like a champ once the veil was lifted. It was like I was training for a game of hoops and the opposing team turned the game into ping pong!???

Add injury to insult when cutie here wants to talk all night long and all you wanna do is hookup!?

Baby, don't talk..........




peace&luv
thank you for following

The Syndrome

Somewhat of a reputation
Something I wasn't quick to believe
There are those that see a flame and know its hot
There are those that come near the flame and know its hot
And there are those that must touch the fire,
with their own skin, once, twice, or three times
To know that its hot
And when you touch fire, you may get burned.
But in order to get burned and feel that heat, you have to touch it.



I wanted to figure him out

Everytime I thought I had him figured out, there was a sly move to the left field, that had me second guess my theories. And then another move to the right....center....he always had me guessing.


So I continued to study. I was disgusted and intrgued with him at the same time. Annoyed and motivated. Internally and externally.

Overwhelmingly becoming slightly obsessed...sans slightly. Obsessed with loathing him and also liking him.

I became keen to his 6th sense and the law of attraction.Everywhere he went people were into...drawn to him. First, and foremost girls. Women. Females.

All ages. All sizes. All shapes. And yes, all types.

But it wasn't just females even. Dudes loved to be his friend. Older silver haired professors loved to politic with him, engage with him. Everyone knew his name... He came off as polite, kind, and ... if you were alive, you just wanted to know him.

He always seemed to have a gift of some sort. Homemade Cookies. A package in the mail. He was the guy that the girls made signs for at football games, more than one, banners, painted, these girls took time on this. Lord only knows why.

Gross. I thought it was encourageable the way women would get weak in the knees around him. it made me sick. Why would women swoon over this...

This...

Game

This...

Player.

Sick.

I was determined to ignore him. To make sure he knew, he could never, ever touch me. I wasn't stupid. My mind, or perhaps my libido, I wasn't sure which, couldn't seem to escape him though. I did at times.... but somehow he always returned and permeated my atmosphere.

Intangible. I didn't really know him, just of him. I took tally of his victims, their syndromes, their symptoms. It actually became quite fun. After all, I wasn't in it. I just watched and shook my head with very little compassion. That would never be me. I continued to be very curious about him at the same time. Wonder why he was so powerful, and charismatic. An Electric personality. He did have a nice smile. BEAUTIFUL BODY.

But so did other guys. This guy wasnt that tall, or that handsome, but he was dark. OK, he was handsome. He wasn't out of this world hot?!

It took discipline to avoid him. Sometimes when he would be in the library or computer lab when I was, I would get all twitchy and agitated. Not knowing whether it was sexual frustration or true uncensored hatred.

"I didn't know you knew how to move your hips like that"... Was the first thing he said to me, after a show I had performed in. I was dancing with my friends at a house party. I felt good. I had my own good vibe going.

Funny thing about the law of attraction. Or at least a theory: if you feel sexy, you are sexy. People pick up on it. I did that night. I felt sexy. I had my A game on.

I rolled my eyes to his comment, and continued to dance and tease, but really had no interest in being anywhere near him. But yet I wanted him in the room. Yet, I really felt as if I had accomplished something by him paying me attention.

And, by him admitting to paying my hips attention.

Sick.

With no alarm, force, or annoucement.

I entered the game.

At my own will.

It was my first time in the game.

Yes, I had played the game before, but it was little league, and I was usually good enough to play captain. This was big time. I hadn't tried out, or trained, I just walked right on. No uniform.

The game became apart of me. I studied him and it more than my expensive semester of syllabi.

I know that females all over, had the syndrome. They had know him intimately or not and become hooked. I was not going to be one of them. I was going to play the game, win my round, and move on. I was going to be different. I was never going to be one of them.

Deep down, if I would have admitted it then, I think I just wanted him to know I was different. I wasn't average. What you see, is not always what you get. Talk is so damn cheap.

He continually distracted my body by stimulating my mind.

Answering questions with questions...he always did this.

How are you?

Well, how are you...

He was good at his position, always aloof, mysterious, yet warm and friendly. He and I both knew I was in the game. I wanted completey anonymity though. I thought it might put me above the other players in the game, if I didn't act like I wanted what they wanted. So, I maintained or tried to maintain a tough exterior. A lack of care. Even though I wanted too care so badly...

My first time suited up was at random, no one was home at his house, so I had an invite. An impromptu, late night, slide in the back screen door meeting. Up the stairs in the dark, walking lightly to the room on the right. Creek open the door. He continued to go after conversation and successfully stimulated my mind, while I sat in awe of his telants... his brain.

My first time in the game.


The candle burned. It almost burned to a point where the wick was so short it was about to go out. All the while he undressed me with his mind.

We shared his narrow bed frame. He smelt of a clean and manly scent, that alone, untouched, made my body melt. Different than the hate and angst I had been used. After all this discussion and angst, we layed there. Still, my body on edge and untouched, my mind seduced. I dont quite remember how it started or concluded.

But I know, that for the first time, in my young female life.... he made my legs quiver. Made me moan. Bite the pillow. Toes Curl. For the first time.

I had had sex before, the above experience with him - was not just sex.

I was young and nearing sprung. First time in the game. Still not fitting into my uniform. I tried every different angle I could fathom to stay in the game, perhaps I could play a different position? I knew I needed to be strategic. Or maybe it would work if I acted like all the other players, it wasn't me to bake cookies but maybe that works?

I sometimes would get pissed off, and go back to ignoring him, that seemed to work quite often. But I always remained loyal. Ignoring. All the while adoring him from afar.

Sick.

I think we had a few more meetings. I'm sure by my initiation and my yearning.

See I was a spoiled brat, a captain of the little league up until now. This game was not going the way other games had gone before. Little to no recognition, and definitely no cheerleaders. He was good at his game.

And it was his game.

One night he came over to my dorm room, my roommate was out of town. He came over, once everyone had gone to bed. Always a tactful anonymous player. Hooded sweatshirt, hood up. Always mysterious.

He sat there and began his talking, his pregame warm up if you will. Damn! It worked everytime.I even found myself excited to talk to him. I shared secrets I had saved up from our prior meetings. I shared things about myself no one knew. I broke allgirlcode and told him all and any gossip I knew.

Which was not apart of my plan. I had a plan. I was breaking my plan.

I remember going to play some music in my room, back faced to him, searching thru my mixed cd's for the perfect tune. Nervous as hell. Wanting so bad to play my game as well as I could with him. Win even, or at least tie the game...that way then if there was a tie there would need to be another game to see who won right? A tie breaker, or at least an option to go into overtime?

I wanted to keep this going. I just wanted to know him, be around him. Naked or not.I turned on something melllow on my stereo. Before I could exhale...He slide his body aginst me, right behind me, with a few touches to my neck, and hands on my hips. And I instintually moved with him.

And, it was over. I was now weak in the knees. My game over. Again. I gave in. I enjoyed every milli second of it.

And, I honestly didnt really knwo what I was doing. Sad to think back, I may have just layed there. I remember we were so loud...He was so loud..Actually the bed was so loud...That we had to stop. I was so embarassed. My little girl ass cheeks in my dorm room.

Inevitably. This was the first time a man was able to truly please me.
What he did was he got my mind racing. He was challenging my thoughts and inventing new ones. He inspired me... He even thought I was funny. I was physically melted, I could not keep my tough side strong or intact any longer.

I fell victim for the opposing team. I must admit it, by then I just wanted too! I enjoyed every phase of it. Well, thats a lie, I spent many seconds of it, wondering if I was doing it right, if I was making him feel as good as he was making me feel. Me: Insecure. Unexperienced. Young. Out of my comfort zone, defintely not in control. I was having my first, and second, and third orgasm.

He gave me my first orgasm of my life. I had - had sex before. But I had never truly been pleased...to this extent before. He opened up my body, my mind and my soul. Little did I know that would just be the beginning of our journey.

No, we did NOT have a realtionship. He was a player. I was new to the game, remember? Nothing special to him to my knowledge.

I moved on, and so did he. Just like that. I moved on kicking and screaming and plotting and backing up and twist turning...I wanted him in my life. Sex was not the obsession. He was. Who he was. I learned about who he was. His true self. His flaws. His overwhelming strengths with adversity.Our relating. Too powerful and not the right time. He was older and wiser than me. I still needed to learn and experience. It took tough love on his part, catch and release.

But I always take a deep breathe in, and out, knowing that he scored the first touchdown!

Touchdown Score: Get inside her head, make her feel good, listen to her. And she will be aroused mentally, and ready to be aroused physically, no fumble in sight! It doesnt matter what people say.It doesnt matter what they think or hear....all that matters is what goes on between two people. How they feel. He taught me so many things, but an important lesson in going to the source. Never making assumptions.

Just an all around perfect wide receiver catch.... he was

SO, IN HONOR of THE 7th POST
A 7 point touchdown dedicated to the first man that won me over.
He caught the pussy.

Won me over: mind, body, soul. Not all men fumble the pussy, some of them know how to throw, catch and run with it, quite well. I was 19. He taught me everything I know. He taught me things maybe I wish i didn't know at times. He touched my life, and I will never forget how we bonded and broke... and re-bonded and broke our connection.

Reality is the journey of life. Words do not do justice to the endless first,second, thrid,and fourth quarters he and I played in.... with and without each other. He evolved me. Grew me up.Gave yield to becoming an amazing woman. Its all true. He and I continued to even play in different games and divisions, but I still was always his biggest fan. Loyal for life. I think he became one of mine too. Ascension.


peace and love, thanks for reading.

Why aren't you smiling?

What does fumbling the pussy look like? Sound like? Feel like?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You plan a lunch date, you get ready the night before. You decide you are going to change out of your work clothes into that little red dress you just got. You wear no undies. You plan to meet at a certain location. He is late. He says he is starving, and not in the mood. You are wearing a red dress with no panties on. On your lunch break...

SUCKER PUNCH

You are in bed, shaved, waxed, smelling of a hint of clean and sexy fragrance (a hint not a lot folks), candles lit, room and house is clean. Your boyfriend has no idea, why would you tell him? You want to surprise him with a seductive evening. He says he will call on his way home from his evening class. He calls an hour late. He shows up 2 hours later. He shows up, and says he is hungry, doesnt notice that you are trying to set the mood for... romance...lust...connecting.
You oblige, make him dinner, he eats and passes out.

PUSSY FUMBLE

You are sitting at the bar. Alone. Waiting for your friend. He keeps looking at you. You glance at him here and there, you dont want to seem desperate. He is attractive. You play with your hair, order a drink. Cross your legs. He walks up to you, and says, why aren't you smiling. You say, hmm I dont know. He says, well arent you having a good time.
I say, Im actually waiting for a friend and sure I am having a good time. He says," Well then--you need to smile and lighten up". You say, ummm ok, you dont really know me. And I dont know why you are telling me to smile. I'm cool. I'm good even. He says well I wanted to get to know you and buy you a drink, but you arent smiling so maybe I dont. And he walks away. Scurries away. I love how this dude....gives me the eye....comes up to hit on me....and ends up insulting me in his process and trips up.... If I had a dime for everytime I heard this!

IDIOT

GET OUT OF THE GAME, YOU COULDNT EVEN HANDLE DAILY DOUBLES!

PUSSY FUMBLE

You are on vacation in a tropical location. You have a fabulous day, sex in the ocean, sex on the beach. You both just took showers. You are craving oral sex from your man. You love giving oral sex. You are rubbing after sun lotion all over each others backs. You start kissing and touching, he wants to have sex. You try and show him what you want. He ignores it. You whisper what you want, he ignores it. You give him oral sex. Just enough, not too much. Its clearly your turn. You ask sweetly, he says, he doesn't like to do that, and in his penis goes....

PUSSY FUMBLE (go down on us,if you do it right, you just got a headstart!)

You have had a few beers with a good friend of the opposite sex. You have always had crushes on each other, but never an opportunity. Beers establish lack of discretion. You go back to your place. You both tug and touch at each others clothing, you are turned on. And then you feel his back, its shaved... oh gawd... its prickly.... you slide your hands back up to his neck. You can't stop thinking about the razor burn on his back. Blahhhyuck!

PUSSY FUMBLE (wax if you are going to, please b natural, dont shave your back)

You workout together, shoot the breeze a lot. Talk a lot of shit. Have a competitive friendship, entirely platonic. A great night out and many attempts from him to get in the game, you let him in for one play. You are kissing, and actually enjoying it, maybe this friendship could be more, you think? he tickles your stomach. Weird. You are not a child. He does it again.You dont laugh. You are a woman who was about to get naked. Not anymore. Instantly turned off.

PUSSY FUMBLE -- GAME OVER

You buy tickets to your favorite R and B singer, at a classy venue. You buy a beautiful sleek dress, you get your hair done. he is supposed to meet you at 7pm. Its going to be an amazing night. You are so excited to show him how sexy you can be, how beautiful you can be, he always sees you in sweats. You dont hear form him at 5pm. Or 6pm. Your best friend, who is wearing casual attire not appropriate for the concert, and just dropping you off, she says she will join you as a back up option. You have never needed back up options. He doesnt show. You get a call from an unknown out of state number, barely hear his voice, "I'm sorry I cant make it something came up". At the last minute!? WTF. Concert is now starting. You are crushed. Stood up! for the first time in your life. Physically, ill. Nausea sets in. You dont even want to go now, but the tickets were very expensive, the dress, the hair. Ok. Fuck him. You call back this mysterious number he called from, there is no answer. He is a coward. Everyone is a couple at the show.

NEVER TRIP OR INJURE A FELLOW PLAYER OUT OF MALICE.

PUSSY FUMBLE

Its Valentines day, you have been together for about 10 months. You both dont want to spend much money or do anything foo foo. You decide you will turn your liv room into a restaurant and cook him an amazing meal that night. Its the morning of Valentines day, you want to sleep in, go to the gym with your girlfriend, sit in the sauna, shave, wax, prepare for a beautiful, mellow night. You need to go tot he store, and maybe grab a nice bottle of almond champagne, he loves that stuff. You wake up, but still lay in bed, you havent gotten to sleep in in months, yet alone in your full size bed and spread out. Within moments of your eyes open, the door opens. Its your boyfriend. He lets himself in, surprise, big smile, happy Valentine's day baby! Barely awake. Hey babe, what are you doing here? I wanted to see you! Lets go out to breakfast. You havent woken up yet, you are half awake in your sweats. You want to sleep more, alone, then go to the gym, then get sexy, then have him come over. be flexible you think. he means well. he says hurry up lets go. we go out to breakfast, we come home. he falls asleep on the couch. its Valentine's day. its now 1pm. no sex. no roses. nothing. not the plan you wanted. One day a year!

PUSSY FUMBLE- know the game and your position before you get suited up players!


Please dontfumblethe pussy.............

Confessions of Pussy

Pussy: We have discussed this related to sex, catching the ball and running with it, getting laid, 'gettin it on', but what does pussy really mean in this blog? It is really, truly defined in a series of descriptions that come to my raw, unsensored female mind: a newfound yearning, internal or external drive, an inspiration, being turned on so much that you have to have it, falling in love at times, yes, I said it. The moment you decide you are going to give in, open up (phsycially or mentally or *both*). You are giving up your pussy, and proud!


Because ya know, things weren't and aren't always so ridiculous, or bad, or silly, like in previous posts. Guys aren't always fumbling the pussy- if they were than I would have gone after girls a long, long time ago. More on that later. Sometimes men, boys, guys, wow- they rock my world! They rock my universe! They make me feel so damn good I want to give money to homeless people! They get my pussy. They get me. They do something, say something, or say nothing, that gets me going. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally, and Spiritually. Soulfully. I want to give them my pussy!


[Disclaimer: some of the below mentioned acts may not work on all women, or even, again on me, if attempted. As you know by now men: we are all very differnt and uniquely motivated by diff things, also add the phase of life a woman is in? does she want to be a bad girl a good girl? does she want to feel secure or feel free? The list goes on. But relax, I digress]


EXAMPLES OF SCORING THE PUSSY OR A “HOW TO” GUIDE:

He told me he read the 4 agreements. http://www.miguelruiz.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6:the-four-agreements&catid=13:books&Itemid=7

Little did he know (he had no clue) - I had just bought that book for my entire family for xmas and had a complete eye-opener on my life and mental outlook. He said he re-read it 5 times. It was a moment of mental connection. Pussy score!
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Promises: Guy I had recently been becoming more than friends with, we were laying on the couch, making out for hours, heavy petting, touching, clothes came off and on. Off and on. Off and on. I was trying so damn hard not too get completely naked. I wanted too, physically, but I really didn't want him to think I was 'easy' (whatever that meant?). I even actually wanted to get to know him. Chemistry was great. He wasn't entirely stupid and didn't even had any weird things he had done to turn me off, shit, lets be real, I knew his mother! And I loved her?! I know, wtf.
He kissed my belly. Mmmmm. Trouble. He kissed my inner thighs. I wasn't going to give in. He kissed around my earlobes, and he said "I want you".
I said, I want you too, but I need to know you more...and I want you to come visit me (he lived 3 hours way).
"I will", he promised.
I said, mid him making love to my left ear and sending chills up and down my spine. I really want you to get to know me.
"I will". His hands on my inner thighs.
Deep breathe.
Then he said "I am planning on visiting you, and I want to do anything you want. I want to go for runs with you in forrest park, and take you surfing, and come see you every weekend".

I believed him.
We did it. He wanted me, he got me, then and there. I let go.

Promises, promises, I got naked for promises.
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Jestures: This one guy brought me a bottle of champagne. For no reason at all. he just knew I liked the bubbly. I was now his, for the moment. Or as long as this fantasty would allow me. Pussy Score!
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Be sweet: This boy texted me after our first hook up, just a few days later, "when do I get to kiss you again?". It said. Nothing hotter and more sexier than a guy wanting you, and putting it out there, openly and honestly, and in turn I then wanted him. Babyface started this sexy movement once I heard his song "When can I see you again". So Sexy. Once this boy requested my presence, after our last hook up, like that, sweetly, pussy is yours baby. (Now, I didn't say that! Def. thought it, hehe). Probably the sexiest song created, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m4UWZt_ldE

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The way he moved: He was driving. I was in the passenger seat. I was wearing a skirt, not short, not too long, mid length. He reached over to the passengers side, and without a word or a moment, or a look, he reached ever so slightly between my legs, and adjusted my seat for me. That was it..............................................:-)!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Swagger: Guys, dance! Dance with us without being forced to. Or being too wasted. Move with us. Enjoy it, (we know when you aren't). Guys that can really dance and do so with confidence and have a good time while dancing and just groove: always get pussy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Baby, don’t talk: Sometimes you need to just listen. Don't say anything at all- just listen. You would be surprised how far this can get you, in and out of the bedroom. Sometimes, nothing is the best something.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Johnny on the spot: I started a text relationship with someone, not much one on one time yet live. I had a few glasses of wine and was at a party I barely knew anyone at, without any care of the response I would get, I texted him, "you should be here". He was there within 10 mnutes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDsVYagZ11A. He got me, that night. For endless times, he got me, over and over. it was one of the most sexiest things to have someone instantly show up, wanting you, just as much as you wanted them...when you didn't really know yet...he calmed my pussy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be true: He called me in the morning at work and said he missed me. I said, I was just with you last night!? Wow. Really? Are you kidding me? No guys say that stuff. He said I know but i really miss you. I drove across town for an over exended lunch break, nooner. It was sweet. He missed me. Nice guys don't always finish last. It's sweet. He said he missed me, just seeing me the night before, it made my heart pitter patter and pussy hungry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Soul: He got me to follow my own soul's desires. He found out I wanted to learn and do more yoga. He took me to classes. He did yoga with me. When he couldn't, he made sure I did yoga on my own, he did this in a loving non-pushy way. I was inspired and feeding my own soul. Needless to say, we started our own yoga practice.

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And with that in mind, the pussy is almost always ignited in the brain. I know that sounds crazy, but it is, god bless the beautiful organ, the mind. It creates multiple orgasms for us, we can just think about a guy and climax if we really want too.... over and over. Men may be able to do this too. All I know is, the highest form of a turn on, has always been and continues to start and continue, in the brain.

Thank you for reading, please don't fumble the pussy in any form.... until next time.....

***Please note in honor of the game continuing, the 7th blog will be the in depth play by play of the first pussy touchdown! Stay tuned***